CNN.com offers a great primer on the pros and cons of negotiating a pre-nuptial agreements. The pre-nup could prevent litigation in the event the marriage ends in divorce. On the other hand, a difficult negotiation may end the relationship before a marriage takes place.
I have excerpted the article here:
Pre-nuptial agreements, are no longer an exclusive financial risk management tool for Hollywood couples. Having seen what can happen when a high-profile relationship fails, increasing numbers of less famous couples are known to be opting for written agreements to protect the financial assets each partner brings to the relationship.
Some of the advantages of such an agreement are: to protect your separate property; support your estate plan; it defines what property is considered marital property or community property; it reduces conflicts and saves money if you divorce; it clarifies special agreements between you, and it establish procedures and ground rules for deciding future matters.
But, of course a prenup is not romantic.
As the artice points out, "Being engaged conjures up images of candlelit dinners and walks in the moonlight. Although marriage is a financial partnership as well as a romantic one, if you feel that discussing something as mundane as property and finances, as well as the possibility of divorce, will mar an otherwise beautiful time of your lives, you may not be candidates for a prenup
· A premarital agreement can protect the inheritance rights of children and grandchildren from a previous marriage.
· If you have your own business or professional practice, a premarital agreement can protect that interest so that the business or practice is not divided and subject to the control or involvement of your former spouse upon divorce.
· If one spouse has significantly more debt than the other, a premarital agreement can protect the debt-free spouse from having to assume the obligations of the other.
· If you plan to give up a lucrative career after the marriage, a premarital agreement can ensure that you will be compensated for that sacrifice if the marriage does not last.
· A premarital agreement can address more than the financial aspects of marriage, and can cover any of the details of decision-making and responsibility sharing to which the parties agree in advance.
· A premarital agreement can limit the amount of spousal support that one spouse will have to pay the other upon divorce.
· A premarital agreement can protect the financial interests of older persons, persons who are entering into second or subsequent marriages, and persons with substantial wealth.
· The agreement may require you to give up your right to inherit from your spouse's estate when he or she dies. Under the law, you are entitled to a portion of the estate even if your spouse does not include such a provision in his or her will.
· If you contribute to the continuing success and growth of your spouse's business or professional practice by entertaining clients and taking care of the home, etc., thus allowing him or her to focus on professional endeavors, you may not be entitled to claim a share of the increase in value if you agree otherwise in a premarital agreement. Under the laws of many states, this increase in value would be considered divisible marital property.
· It can be difficult to project into the future about how potential issues should be handled, and what may seem like an inconsequential compromise in the romantic premarital period may seem more monumental and burdensome in reality.
· A low- or non-wage-earning spouse may not be able to sustain the lifestyle to which he or she has become accustomed during the marriage if the agreement substantially limits the amount of spousal support to which that spouse is entitled.
· In the "honeymoon" stage of a relationship, one spouse may agree to terms that are not in his or her best interests because he or she is "too in love" to be concerned about the financial aspects and can't imagine the union coming to an untimely end.
· Starting a relationship with a contract that sets forth the particulars of what will happen upon death or divorce can engender a sense of lack of trust.
· As mentioned above, a contract can take the wind out of your emotional sails.