While there is not a lot of levity in divorce, perhaps this tale of a husband and wife involved in a bitter divorce for possession of the marital home could be instructive. The Husband may have won a battle ( or so he thought); he certainly lost the war. The story, if not useful, is, at least, humorous.
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates,
and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and
feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of
chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed
half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of the
curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for
the first few days. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They
tried everything: cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents
were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, and air
fresheners were hung everywhere!
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which
they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped
coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid
quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to
move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they
could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and,
eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He
told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said
hat she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce
her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing
his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that
was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were
to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed, and, within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A
week later, the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the
moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the
curtain rods.
